Been I believe the longest time I've gone without a post since I started blogging back in 2006 or so...
Truth be known, there wasn't a lot more than just day to day livin' goin' on to write about. And the day to day is getting pretty tough.
I started on this chapter of my journey back in the late winter and spring of 2015. Goin' back to horse I said. Lordy, I had no good idea just what I was steppin' into.
It's been a steep climb with a hard wind in my face ever since. That wouldn't be so bad if I was gaining. But when you look up in the afternoon, and you're lower on the mountain you're climbing than you were when you started that morning... and those days start to run on as the normal way of things, at some point a buster has to stop and take a sharp look at things.
I made the choices I did 2 1/2 years ago based on the idea that even if I couldn't grow my income I'd be able to sustain it where it was. Yeah? Well I was wrong. Wrong as hell to be more accurate. The harder I've worked at it, the further it sunk. At this point off better than 35%.
A whole conglomeration of things has tagged me faster than I've had the ability to adjust. The growth of Smartphones and FB and google's dance have decimated website advertising income. My book sales have fell off heavy. Though reviews are as good as ever, each new book enjoys a shorter time in the sun with a smaller impact...
Compound that with repetitive expensive repairs on top of a real steep vet bill... and it'll dent a man's spirit.
Considering I wasn't near to riches to begin with losing a third of income and more just ain't a sustainable deal on top of the increasing expenses. You get to feeling like a feather caught in a blender!
A fella can only run hard for so long... only I'm finding in this deal they ain't alowin' the guy to stop and catch his breath. Soooooo...
That leaves me with hard choices that'll have to be made this summer and fall. Not sure what those choices all are just yet... I only know that to keep on keepin' on as I've been doing to save face and not be a "Quitter" is well... it's just dumb.
Talking about much the same thing quite a while ago (yup, I also apparently am learning disabled) I said the first thing to do when you find yourself in a hole is to quit digging.
Good advice. I sure wish I'd been listening! Seems like all I did when I stopped was change shovels... and then went back to work with a bigger spade!
At this age I'm weary of lost causes...
I've got another Harvest I'm lined up for up in Sidney starting again in September. I'll be wearing out pencils and erasers cipherin' and cogitating through the summer trying to work out a trail, as I finish out my work here for my daughter... and sometime in the fall, when I look back and see where the trail lead me... I'll know which way I went!